Vivacious Vixens of Romance Blog

“Have you ever had sex in an elevator?”

Does this line grab you? Make you want to move on?

James Lawrence slid his palm across the woman’s back and down the swell of her buttocks and squeezed. “Now this is what I call a great hand.”

“I’d rather be thrown in piranha-infested waters than go out with a man!”

How about these next lines? How do you feel when you read them?

Kendra Wakefield smoothed her ice blue silk dress with a single white-gloved hand and sat straight in her chair. Lifting the small opera glasses, she peered through the lenses at the faces of the well-dressed couples entering below her balcony box.

The westbound train from Alabama screeched to a halt in front of the New Orleans’ depot. When Juliana Warren finally stepped onto solid ground, she released a deep sigh.

Hmmm…I really didn’t see anything exciting in these last two, paragraphs, either…which brings me to my point. The purpose of an opening hook is to catch the reader’s attention and make them keep reading. An editor once told me, during my appointment with her at a RWA conference, that if the first paragraph of a query or even a chapter doesn’t grab her attention, she usually puts it in the ‘reject’ pile without reading on. Yikes! This isn’t good at all, especially for struggling writers. So if the first line doesn’t grab the editor’s attention, what makes you think the second line will?

Now try some of these opening hooks. Do they catch your interest? Do they make you want to read on?

“Come on, open the door, honey.” Jace Corbett pounded on the solid oak, rattling the gold number 10 hanging in the middle. The late winter wind whipped against his bare skin and underneath the small towel wrapped around his waist. “I’m freezing my ass off.” Literally.

This particular opening is supposed to make the reader wonder why he’s freezing his ass off. And why is he wearing a towel out in the freezing weather? Hmmm… Did this opening work for you? Did it make you want to know more?

Kristine Olsen had never seen so many naked bodies in one place. Considering all the avenues her line of work took her, she didn’t expect a scene like this would shock her.
It did.

And what about this one? Sex sells, which means the words “naked bodies” should grab the reader immediately. But not always do you need sex in your opening to catch the reader’s eye. Using action as your hook is also very good to do! Take a look at the next two story openings…

He’s going to kill me!
Breanna Loveland gripped the shoulder-strap of her seatbelt, her knuckles turning whiter the harder she hung on. Through the windshield, she focused on the snow-packed road ahead. The heavy flakes hit the glass faster than the blades could remove it, making it almost impossible to see. The blinding storm covered the streetlights and darkness surrounded the car. She silently prayed this vehicle had an airbag just in case her fiancé’s reckless driving ended them in some ditch – or worse, head-on with another car.

“I’m going to kill him with my bare hands,” Monica Lange raged in a mixture of anger and sorrow as she paced the floor in her father’s den.

So, now we know what an opening hook is – how can we write one? Take a look at the first paragraph in chapter one of your story. Have you started it where you need to? Is this a place that’s going to make the reader wonder what’s going on and why or have you written too many descriptions or dialogue that doesn’t go anywhere?

Let’s do an exercise. We’ll take one of the boring sample paragraphs and try to make it a good opening hook. Let’s work on poor Kendra Wakefield. We know she’s at an opera and that she’s watching the others arriving below her box. How can we make this more active? Interesting? Why don’t we give her a shaky hand? Kendra Wakefield smoothed her ice-blue silk dress with a shaky hand. Or let’s add some internal thoughts here. Where in the blazes is that man? Or maybe she isn’t looking for someone, but hiding from someone and wonders if others will recognize her. She took a ragged breath. Will they know I’m not who I portray? At this point, if it’s done right, the reader will want to know why she is pretending and what is making her so nervous. Therefore – those unanswered questions will keep the reader from nodding off.

In a workshop given by Donald Maass of the Maass Literary Agency, he says readers will allow you only three lines before their mind begins to wander. That’s not very encouraging, is it? So why not grab the reader immediately?

Never begin with the heroine sitting and thinking. Get her butt off the chair and add some action and unanswered questions! Never open with long descriptions. Never open with weather – unless the pouring rain has flooded the roads and your characters are on their way to the hospital to have a baby… You get the picture. Never begin with backstory. That’s too much information to tell right away, especially when it can be woven into the rest of the story. Instead, open with conflict or just before a moment of change. Say your hero is minutes away from walking down the aisle to his own wedding, but he overhears his soon to be father-in-law making plans with a hitman to kill him after the wedding. Yup, I’d say it was time to make your character change his plans – and fast!

Closing hooks are similar. When you close a chapter, you should try to pose a question or set up a situation that makes the reader want to keep reading. The point is to end your chapter in a manner that encourages the reader to continue with your story. If you end your chapter with your character going to bed…so will your reader. This is not advised. It’s far better for your heroine to be knocked unconscious than to knock your reader into this state. Pose a question and don’t answer it until the next chapter. You may not want to end every chapter this way, but ask yourself “Does this end in a way that encourages your reader to keep reading?” If your answer is yes, then you’re ready to write the next article on hooks. (Big Grin)

**samples taken from my stories and some quotes taken from Donald Maass’ workshop.**

Visit my website to see other stories I have with great opening hooks! www.phyllismariecampbell.com

~Vixen Phyllis~

Sorry if this blog is short, but I’m currently in deadline hell and my mind is not my own. I often see writers proclaim on Twitter, blogs, MySpace and other forums about being in deadline hell, but unless you’re an author you really have no idea what that means. So, I have decided to share with you a day in the life of a romance writer.

7:30 AM-Wake up to find that you’ve fallen asleep at the keyboard the night before. And I mean you literally crashed with you face resting on the laptop. After you get paper towels to clean up the puddle of drool between the “E” and “R” keys, you make some coffee to wake up. You’re still dressed in the same ratty sweatpants and t-shirt from the day before, but you don’t have any clean clothes to change into so you leave them on

8:00 AM-The cat is screaming to be fed so you dig around for cat food. Since you haven’t cleaned in a week, the place looks like a candidate for “Clean House”. You finally find the Friskies under a pile of dirty clothes. You are so tired you giggle at the name “Friskies” for five minutes.

10:00 AM-After two hours of writing, you reward yourself by Googling your name. You find your books at two new pirate sites, a lukewarm review for your last release and a dismaying news article. Someone who kind of has a name like yours was arrested for exposing themselves to farm animals. As you think about how this will ruin your image, you wonder if that kind of crime is a misdemeanor or a felony.

12:00 PM-Time for lunch! Since the kids are home, you throw pizza money at the teenager and make yourself a Lean Cuisine. Okay, who are we kidding here? You actually just grab a bag of chips and dip and polish it off between chapters.

1:45 PM-You are forced to take a break when you realize your daughter is outside and she’s dressed in an old ballet costume and cowboy boots. Not that you mind the outfit so much since the neighbors already know you’re loony, but it is raining outside. The last thing you need is to have to take time off from writing because you have to mop up muddy boot prints off the floor.

4:30 PM-Your mother calls to complain that you never have time for her anymore and you don’t care about anyone but writing. At least you think that’s what she says. You’re too busy typing on the laptop to really hear what she’s saying.

5:00 PM-You take time off to watch Penguins of Madagascar with your daughter. Because that show rocks!

6:00 PM-The husband was kind enough to make dinner. He throws you a plate of food and you eat, still typing like a mad woman. At this point you could be eating liver and onions and not realize it. All that matters is getting more words written. You are three thousand short of your daily goal and the day is already more than half over.

8:00 PM- You begin to despair at ever making your goal. The questions start. Why do I do this to myself? Why did I ever think I could be a writer? Will everyone think this book is absolute crap? Are there any Cheetos left?

10:00 PM-You’ve calmed down some. Fresh coffee is on, the bag of Cheetos are now just a memory. Only fifteen hundred words left to go, but you can feel the weariness hitting you.

12:00 AM-You run through the house rambling bits of dialog from your book. “I am a vampire and you are my lifemate! Let us make sweet, undead love!” The husband gets out of bed and leads you back to the keyboard.

3:00 AM-You’ve done it! 5,000 words in one day! You do a happy dance and celebrate until you realize you’re going to have to do it all again tomorrow. In your despair, you collapse onto the keyboard of the laptop and fall asleep.  

-Stephani

My blog today is just to announce that I’m a guest blogger over at RT Book Reviews.  Exciting, huh?  Now…just need to send them one of my books to actually be reviewed without being a chicken.  lol  Too bad they don’t read ebooks for reviews…  Yeah, they must have the paperback.

So, here is the link -

 http://www.rtbookreviews.com/2009/08/guest-blogger-author-phyllis-marie.php

~Phyllis~

Looking for sultry, sexy and tastefully salacious? You have found it with our newest Vixen, Stephani!

Welcome Stephani!

This week’s questions are:

Who is your favorite actor

Who is your favorite actress

What is your favorite movie

Please post a 3-4 line blurb on your book or for readers your favorite book!

I’ve got an oddball case of writer’s block going on. My muse wants to talk. She wants to work on Rick Hansen’s story which is book 3 of my bride series and she wants to talk about the Knight of Pentacles and my hero Morgan and Gahris from With All Dispatch.

But I have edits due for The Spell and that pulls me out of right brain free flow and creativity into left brain, linear thinking. I need to be critical/analytical/logical in my day job, looking for what could be an issue and making sure things are done right. I thrive on those aspects of my job–the organizing, analyzing and straight logic. But when I’m away from there, when 5 o’clock rolls around I’m ready to escape into the world of my books. It doesn’t happen when I’m in edits.

For my breaks though I am reading Michael Baden’s second forensic murder mystery, Skeleton Justice. On the heels of his first, Remains Silent, its the kind of book you can sink your teeth in.

Where this leads me though is that when it comes to blogging, there’s really not much to say.

I know I’m so bad about blog posting but I’m going to try and get better about this. I am in the middle of editing 2 books and writing a 3rd as well as working on my new business. I have signed a few clients on and my business partner is working with them as we speak. Unfortunately I can’t divulge more information than that other than my business partner is a VERY  well known cover model in the romance business.  He’s come up with some fabulous designs so you’ll have to wait to see the new websites coming!

On a lighter note, VIKING SEDUCTION is burning up the charts on All Romance Ebooks. Most of that is due to CJ Hollenbach being gracious enough to pose for the cover of the book. It’s hovered at the #1 and #2 spots for the last two months.  Thanks to CJ, this is a hot selling book.

I’m working on the edits for my next book for SirenBookstrand, DESIRE’S PROMISE.  The Prequel to THE WARLORD’S WOMAN, another hot seller, sets the stage. Here’s a quick blurb:

Kendrick is determined to help his brother conquer Castile, knowing full well his real desire is it conquer the ‘Ice Princess’ Isabeau. They fight each other, ending with his capture. Isabeau tortures him seductively, knowing once he leaves, there goes any hope of knowing what a night spent in a man’s arms is like. She arranges his ransom and finds herself in an ensuing battle, only to become his prisoner.  Torn between the loyalty to her people and the feelings of her heart, Isabeau must choose which one she will follow.

I had a lot of fun writing this book and even more fun with the edits. I’m able to tweak their personalities and try to bring them a bit more to life. That’s what I love about writing. I’m able to bring characters out of my mind and give them a life all their own. I take a lot of what I see around me and interject them into each and every character. Most of my heros are based on my own hero: my husband. I use a lot of what he is and put it into the hero and breathe life into him.  I know some people don’t believe me but it’s true. I’m far more in love with my husband now than I was when we got married. We’ve been through a lot and he’s been through the fire with me every step of the way and hasn’t never flinched, which with me, isn’t an easy thing. I’ve been through some doozies. All in all, he’s my perfect hero, mostly alpha with a bit of gamma and beta thrown in for flavor.  He’s not only been my husband and lover for the past 15 years but my best friend as well. That’s what I try to convey in all of my books. I want the heroine and hero to go through their trials together as friends then come through as lovers on the other side.   That’s how my relationship with DH started out. Most of the friends who were in our wedding are now divorced and on their 2nd and 3rd marriages. Our secret? Communication and understanding. That’s what it’s all about.

I’ll be back next Saturday with another exciting blog post!

Ms. Goodie Two-Shoes writes about Mr. Hot Pants….

Heart thumping, palms moist, she settles her shaky fingers on the keyboard.  Millions of thoughts run through her mind, those that aren’t very good…at least that’s what her momma had told her as a young girl.  Squeezing her eyes closed, pictures of half-dressed men float through her mind and her mouth turns dry.  SEX!  No, it couldn’t be time to write the sex scene, could it?  Her religious leader would certainly kick her out of church for fear of a bolt of lighting spearing down from heaven.  What about her parents?  Would her own husband disown her?  Her poor children would have to walk down the streets with their head ducked from now on.   But she’s a romance writer.  It needs to be written! She swallows the lump of fear lodged in her throat and takes a deep breath.  Once her eyes are open, she focuses on her story.  Reminding herself it’s a natural thing, she proceeds, her fingers fly across the keyboard as if they had a mind of their own.  His masculine scent of leather and spice fills the air, consuming every breath she takes.  In her head, the scene unfolds, the hero sweeps the heroine off into another world where seduction and passion rule.  Seeking fingers, curious kisses… The more she writes, the wider her grin spreads.  Her heart now beats a different rhythm.  Her palms are moist for entirely different reasons this time.  And in her chest…love grows.  This excitement is the thrill she needs –the energy that gives her the courage to continue and not be afraid. 

I don’t know about most writers, but I’ve certainly experienced this a time or two (or three or four) since I first started writing.  Those who don’t read romance stories label us as ‘smut’ writers.  All we think about is sex – twenty-four hours a day.  My husband tells me this numerous times…and it isn’t for flattery. <grin>  But there’s a bigger picture.  The overall picture that nobody sees but romance writers.  We aren’t writing about sex – we’re writing about love. 

HOWEVER…this doesn’t mean I’m not going to have sexual tension in my stories.  In fact, I live for sexual tension.  In one of my critique groups, I’ve been labeled Queen of Sex Scenes.  Even been called LoverLips.  Several of my reviewers call me Queen Of Sexual Tension. Should I be offended?  Heck no!  I’m thrilled!! Don’t tell my husband.  He’ll just roll his eyes again. <snort>

I write Sensual…don’t you just love that word?  It rolls across your tongue like a lover’s passionate kiss.  Makes you want to deepen your voice in a sexy tone, lower your lids half-mast and part your mouth.  Maybe even swipe your tongue across your dry lips… 

Okay, I’m getting carried away again.  I need to get back to the point here.  You can still be a Goodie-Two-Shoes and write about Mr. Hot Pants.  The characters you write about are real to you – and especially to your readers.  Write about your character’s feelings, about their hearts pounding like a tom-tom against their ribs.  Write about sweaty palms, shaky limbs, and out of control breathing.  Write about shivers of delight that cascade over your characters bodies.  Passionate tremors that seem to have a mind of their own…  And write about the glorious moment when your characters come together.  If you feel like religion should be added…then have one of your characters praise God at that point.  But the fact is – these feelings are real!  This is real life!  You’re not writing porn just because you’re writing a sex scene.  You’re writing about love.

And think of the alternative…  You could be writing about murder, killing, and torturing other humans.  <shivers>  Nah, not for me! 

I’ll stick to romance thank you very much!

~Vixen Phyllis~